The funniest thing happened this morning at my hall. As I was waiting outside of Esmeralda’s room, I saw a squirrel run up the stairs. It ran all the way up to the stairway that leads to the roof. I quickly told Esmeralda and we decided to go tell an RA. I told the RA and she came near the stairwell to check it out. Then the squirrel started to growl and bark at up from the top of the stair case. I never knew that they could make such intimidating sounds. I called non-emergency number and let them know what the situation was. After calling I carefully walked down the stairs to the dining hall.
Once class started, we went straight into rehearsals our action plan presentations. Everyone has such amazing ideas, that will make huge differences in their communities. I am so inspired by everyone’s plans and ideas. It made me realize that every individual has the capability to make a difference through their ideas, we just need to encourage them, and empower them. I think that the reason there aren’t as many people getting out there and making changes in their community is because they’re told that because of their age, they can’t accomplish or do anything. When I come back home, I’m going to make sure to empower every person I encounter who is passionate about an issue. I want to be able to make them believe that they can do anything they set their mind to. Another thing that people don’t realize that, even making a small difference is something. These differences add up to the overall effect. They also inspire others to make changes within their communities.
During my time to present in front of the class I freaked. Every moment leading up to my performance I told myself that I could do it, and that everyone there supported me. But my confidence disappeared as soon as I got up to the front of the class and was the center of attention. I usually give alright speeches, but this one was an disaster. My nerves were so bad that the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. What really got to me was that because I couldn’t speak correctly, it made me look like I didn’t know my material. Everything I wanted to say was already in my mind, but I would overthink every sentence into oblivion. Causing there to be long pauses in between my sentences.
After my train wreck of a performance, my classmates gave me very good feedback, that I will use tomorrow. I spent a lot of time throughout the day reflecting on my performance in class, and even getting a little emotional at times because of how frustrated I was with myself. However, I talked myself through it and I feel confident that I will do a thousand times better tomorrow. Since I know the chances of seeing anyone in the audience ever again is very slim. This way I know that if I mess up that there won’t be any further embarrassment. It also makes me feel more confident since the people know nothing about me. I know that I’m going to do great tomorrow, as well as everyone else in my class.
Our last lunch and learn was to give advice to the next class. I wrote a lot, and put my entire heart and soul into my letter. I talked about what to expect, the kind of attitude they should walk into this with, and tips on how to be successful here. If anyone is reading this, who is going into the 2018 Women and Leadership course, just remember to live in every moment, and always push yourself to step out of your comfort zone. It feels nice to be in your safe space, but nothing ever grows there. I hope that my letter makes someone smile, and feel more comfortable
When everyone was done rehearsing, we were given the task to make memes for our class. All of the memes were so creative, and funny. Everyone was laughing so hard. Even Mary Grace was laughing, her laugh was contagious that just hearing it made me burst into giggles.
Before we all departed from class, we played one last game of "kam-ja" (I think that's what it's called.) No one wanted to leave the class, it was so bittersweet seeing that we all were able to make such strong bonds with each other. I hope that I will be able to stay in contact with the people I met this summer, and maybe even have a class reunion one day.
I headed to the Brown University Bookstore to pick up some last-minute souvenirs for my friends back home. After decided between what color mug I wanted to get, I got both. Then proceeded to check out. I went to the Main Green and sat by a tree in silence. I used this time to reflect on my time here at Brown and all the things I have overcome. This entire I time, there wasn’t a moment where I wasn’t completely alone with myself in nature, so I took advantage of the moment to reflect. I thought about my performance some more, and then just convinced myself to stop dwelling. Instead I tried to clear my mind and sit the in silence with my eyes closed. This was extremely relaxing and I almost fell asleep so many times.
Back at Perkins Hall I wasn’t feeling so great so I went to take a nap in my dorm. I woke up just before the Ratty closed so that I could grab a wrap for dinner. I was extremely worried that I wasn’t feeling well since there has been a stomach flu going around. The last thing I would want is to come back from here being extremely sick and missing Brown at the same time.
Down stairs people were tie dying their tick socks. So, I grabbed mine and rushed downstairs with everyone outside. I decided to use different shades of blue for my socks. I’ve never done tie dye in my life before so I’m not sure if it will come out good. Either way I’ll still use them, because I always seem to need more socks.
I feel like Brown is a second home to me now. I wish that the program was a week longer, because it takes about one week to get settled and familiar with everyone. By week two you don’t have enough time to do everything you want to. However, I do think that this is a good thing in a way since it teaches us to always live in the moment.
Coming here two weeks ago, I wasn’t sure what to expect. The first night in my dorm, I was so scared and nervous. I even cried because I felt so homesick and sad. But as the days went by I became more comfortable with my surroundings. Coming here I have become so enlightened by the people around me. The lessons that I learned during these two weeks will stick with me all throughout my life. I am going to miss all the amazing people I met, the friends I made, and especially Mary Grace, Imani, and Ashley. They were such an essential part in this whole experience. I have never met such kind, and empowered women in my life. I am going to miss them so much.
I will always cherish the memories I made here. And maybe perhaps, one day I will have the opportunity to make more here.